My Experience on Antidepressants

Hi everyone, today’s post is a pretty personal one. I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while now but just haven’t had the time really, or the motivation!

So mid 2017 my doctor put me on a medication called Citalopram. I mainly went on this for a bit of anxiety, a bit of down mood and to help settle/calm my stomach. I started off on a low dose, and gradually went up a bit higher. The highest dose I was on was 25mg which is actually quite a low dose I believe. When I first went on it my mood was all over the place. One minute I would be okay, then next I’d be in tears. It was a bit of a roller coaster. Once the tablets FINALLY settled, which was about 6-8 weeks, I felt a bit better. I definitely still had my fair share of off days but it was good that the medication was finally settled. I was on these for about a year, and I felt they weren’t helping me AT ALL with anxiety, in fact my anxiety was getting much worse.

It is now mid 2018. I went to the doctors and asked them to put me on a different type of antidepressant as the ones I was on weren’t helping me. Though the only great thing about them was that I had no noticeable side effects. My doctor put me on a type of antidepressant called Desvenlafaxine, and my god, it was horrible.

When I weaned off my old tablets then stopped, I got really ill (extremely bad nausea, couldn’t eat or go out anywhere, bad anxiety, depression, fatigue), a couple days later I started the new tablets on half a dose, and they were just as bad. I was on half a dose for a week, then on a full dose by the second week, as per doctors orders.

I was on these tablets for a whole 6 weeks and my symptoms and side effects were not going away at all. I was fully blown nauseous for the whole time, super anxious, fatigued and I still had to go to work through all of this which was so difficult. All I did in this time was work, drive, sleep. I wasn’t eating much throughout this time as I felt so sick constantly, so I ended up losing weight without trying.

It got to the 6 week mark and I begged my doctor to take me off this medication as I was struggling so much. I weaned off these, I felt a bit better after lowering my dose. Then I stopped them, and all hell broke loose.

I stopped them just after moving into our new house, so luckily I had a small amount of time off. I was so sick after stopping the medication. I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was lie down. I couldn’t even get up and walk around because if I did my nausea would hit bad and I’d be dry heaving – I never actually vomited but I was very close. I don’t deal well with nausea at all. During this time I was so nauseous, fatigued, having heart palpitations and brain zaps. The heart palpitations and brain zaps settled down after the first 1-2 weeks, but the nausea and fatigued continued.

More than 3 months after stopping this medication I still get nausea, fatigue, anxiety and depression. Due to the nausea and anxiety I have lost even more weight without trying. So many people have commented about it, and I honestly don’t know what to say when this comes up.

This has been the worst experience I have ever had and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Desvenlafaxine has been the worst medication I have ever been on in my entire life, and I wish I never went on it, as I am still suffering to this day.

Thank you for reading my story – I would love if you could comment your experiences below. If you’re too uncomfortable to do that, please feel free to send me a direct message/private message on Twitter and we can have a chat.

Chelsea x

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15 comments

  1. Hi lovely

    I am heart broken to read your story. I can not believe how ill you have been it’s awful. My doctor wanted to put me on tablets a couple of years ago for depression I decided against. I relay on friends to get through when I have my ups and down s

    But as I have been starting to get panic attack’s lately I have no reason why

    I just keep taking deep breaths and start to count.

    I hope you start to feel better soon my lovely xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I still get sick to this day, I honestly don’t know what each day will bring me!
      I am so glad you decided against it! Though tablets work great with some people but unfortunately not others! Sometimes you have to find the right one for you.

      I am currently seeing hypnotherapist for my anxiety so I am hoping that will help x

      Thank you so much x

      Like

  2. I had some terrible experiences with anti depression medication as well… I got Serotonin syndrome from one, and along with that it made me crazy manic. I became a manic. I couldn’t keep my mood stable at all and I never seemed to stop moving. Tried another and had issues with mood as well and then my hands got all puffy and were numb all the time.

    They also really messed with my body temperature. I am a person with little body fat, so my whole life I have always been cold. But since I tried that medication (three years ago) I have been on the warm side ever since, getting too hot at the slightest change in temperature. It’s never gone away.

    The worst part is that when I was going through all of this I was newly sober and having a really hard time. My mood was so erratic that I found myself extremely sensitive, albeit new sobriety is like that to begin with, this was to a heightened extent that I can’t really describe. I felt really suicidal towards the end and so they took me off all of the medication.

    But after all of this, I would still like to try something that would actually work for me.

    I am really touched to hear someone else’s personal experience with these types of medications. As mental health is something that is normally a taboo subject, it is hard to talk about, but also SO important to be able to relate to one another and not feel alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow I am so sorry you had to go through that, everyone seems to have completely different experiences with them, it is crazy.

      Wouldn’t it be great if all medication worked the same for everyone!

      I too wouldn’t mind being on something that I know will work with my body too, and won’t give me horrible side effects.

      Living is really hard when you get issues like this.

      I think it is something that definitely needs to be spoken about more!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s really hard to sign myself up to go back through it all again, but I know that medication might really help me as far as how I’ve been feeling lately.

        I am so grateful that you shared because it’s so hard to have gone through and have no one relate. Everyone just thought I was freaking crazy.

        I hope that your side effects go away the longer you are off the medication.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry your experience of the medication hasn’t been positive and I think you are great for writing about this.
    In 2016 I started on Certraline and to be honest, I never had any issues apart from feeling a bit space cadet ish and resless for the first few days. I came off them in 2018 and had no issues then either. The medications helped me to see and focus clearly and fixing and improving the aspects of my life that were getting me down. The never solve the problems but i think they can take away the negative feelings and lack of motivation to enable you to work through things.
    I hope that you find something that works for you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so sorry that you’ve been having such a tough time Chelsea. Medications can be very tricky and although I’ve never taken anti-depressants, I’ve watched close friends go through the ups and downs whilst trying different types. I really hope that you find something that helps you whether it is a different type of medication or hypnotherapy. If you ever need a chat then always feel free to DM me. You are very brave for talking about what you’ve been going through and I’m sure your story will resonate with a lot of people who have been through or are going through a similar situation x

    Liked by 1 person

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